Pritam Chakraborty has become a force to be reckoned with in these last few years. He’s been SOLELY (that’s right all by himself, with no help or inspirations!) responsible for soundtracks such as DHOOM (‘Dhoom Machale’ and ‘Shikdum’), DHOOM 2 (‘Dhoom Again’), CHOCOLATE (‘Halka Halka Sa’ and ‘Zahreeli Ratein’), GARAM MASALA (‘Dil Samandar’, ‘Chori Chori’ and ‘Ada’), GANGSTER (‘Ya Ali’, ‘Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai’ and ‘Lamha Lamha’), METRO (‘Baatein Kuch Ankahee Si’ and ‘O Meri Jaan’), JAB WE MET (‘Aao Milo Chale’ and ‘Yeh Ishq Kya’) and of course the uber-succesfull most original album ever!!! RACE (‘Pheli Nazar Mein’ and ‘Zara Zara’).

Okay, so I lied, probably not as much as Pritam, but nonetheless I lied. Turns out ALL the songs mentioned above are…Stolen! Inspired! Copied! They’re hardly original compositions. Mr. Chakraborty has embodied the Bollywood dream perfectly. Take someone else’s work, add some Desi flavor and as Emeril Lagasse says “Bam!” You have a delicious masterpiece.

The highlight of Pritam’s music career came when he released ‘Pehli Nazar Mein’ sung by Atif Aslam. This was an exact tune to tune copy of ‘Sarang Hae Yo’ from a Korean TV serial (go YouTube it if you don’t believe me).
Enough with the history lesson lets get down to the soundtrack composed by Pritam and Ashish Pandit, with lyrics from Sameer.

‘Tha Kar Ke’ sung by Neeraj Shridhar (of the Bombay Vikings) is a reggaeton-esque music piece made for all those kids who like hittin’ da’ clubs to dance! For those unfamiliar to reggaeton, it means, the same exact beat used over and over in every song. ‘Tha Kar Ke’ sets a good tone for the rest of the album and bodes well with the subject of GOLMAAL RETURNS. Surprise surprise the best track from the soundtrack is not composed by Pritam, instead Ashish Pandit.

Now we move onto Pritam’s territory with ‘Vacancy’ lead again by Neeraj Shridhar. What makes this song special is not the excessive Hinglish or mind numbing lyrics. It’s the fact that they decided to credit Vishal-Shekhar and singer Anushka Manchanda for a fifteen second excerpt from the original title song ‘Golmaal’. If a certain music director didn’t have credibility issues I doubt the “proper” accreditation would not be needed for such a small sample. Even with the best of efforts there’s not much weight to hold this one down in the listener’s memory.

‘Tu Saala’ with vocals from Anushka Manchanda is the modern day item number. Anushka is excellent, as she was in the original theme song ‘Golmaal’, but while the composition takes a step towards the right direction, it ultimately falls short.

The worst cliché/pathetic attempt at anything comes in the form of ‘Meow’. In an attempt to personify a cat as being a sensual, mysterious and sexy woman, Indie, Neeraj Shridhar and Ashish Pandit come together for the lyrics (more like a horrible metaphor). This hip-hop endeavor is a good example of why Pritam and the writers can’t be taken seriously. To brighten up the day there are two more versions of this track, ‘Meow (English)’ and of course the remix.

What’s a Bollywood album without every song being transformed into a remix? Oh brace yourselves, you get not one but four! But what if the originals already sound like remixes are they still necessary…no they’re not. That’s a ploy producers use to make the CD look full, while paying even less money to those fancy DJ’s and remixers.

A failure in originality leaves GOLMAAL RETURNS in a stockpile along with all the other hip-hop/club based soundtracks we’re delighted to in the modern filmi industry. With the exception of ‘Tha Kar Ke’ this is passable at best.

1 out of 5 stars

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